Every time I bring up my poor memory and explain it’s a result of epilepsy and my meds, 99% of people respond with, ‘Oh my god, don’t worry, my memory is totally trashed too!’
I’m sure it is. I realize I might have made things awkward and you’re just trying to be relatable, but it’s honestly not the same thing. 
And then there are the times I forget things and people actually shame me for it. It makes me feel really unintelligent and sad. 
‘How could you possibly forget that?’
‘I’ve told you a million times!’
‘You have no memory of that at all?’
Just because I can’t remember doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. It doesn’t mean I’m stupid, and it definitely doesn’t mean I don’t care about you! I promise!!!
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I think when most people say they have a ‘bad memory,’ they just struggle to recall things, but for those of us with epilepsy, the memory just… isn’t there. It’s like the information doesn’t even exist. I don’t know if others feel the same, but that’s how it feels to me, and I really sympathize with you when people without epilepsy get angry about it. I get that it’s exhausting for them to repeat themselves, but it’s frustrating for us too—and that’s the part they always seem to forget.
edit: even though memory problems are a pain, I’m glad people are connecting over this; it makes me and others feel a lot less alone 
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Dealing with stuff like that is why I stopped talking about my epilepsy to others. It feels like nobody really wants to hear it, and they never say anything that actually helps; it just makes the whole situation awkward for everyone.
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I relate to this so much. I’ll forget how to get to places I’ve been to a dozen times if I haven’t visited in a while. I have total blanks from things that happened just two weeks ago, and of course, I’ve lost big memories from growing up. My twin sister shames me for it, which really hurts. I also can’t pull up information as fast as I used to; I used to be so quick-witted.
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The thing I hate most is hearing ‘You weren’t listening!’ or ‘You need to have enough respect to pay attention!’ I know it doesn’t help that I have ADHD on top of the epilepsy. I do get distracted, but I am listening. When I ask for a repeat, people get offended, but they don’t realize that actually retaining the info is way harder than they think.
Just remember that when people yell, they’re usually just projecting their own bad moods onto you. You aren’t a bad person or stupid. You’re just dealing with a set of challenges that most people are lucky enough to never have to deal with.